i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
