Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The beer is more important than you right now.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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