I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
