Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student

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(310): View more from California

I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.

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(407): View more from Florida

He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.

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