so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i already hear my dad disowning me
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
