And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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