How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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