It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
