What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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