I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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