We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
