Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
