I forgot how hot balto sounded
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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