sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
MIDGETS
????
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
