i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
