think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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