I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
