I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
