Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
