I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
