YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
