): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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