margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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