so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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