I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Randomize
