# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
