Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Someone shattered a urinal.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
