lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You need a sexual gate keeper
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
