I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
