stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
