went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize