remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
