She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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