I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
