whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
