Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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