OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
