I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
