ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Found the puke drawer
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
