Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
