I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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