The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
