I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize