States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
