i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
