Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
