We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
