Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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