Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He shit in the fireplace
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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