I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
