Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
