I love black thongs
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
