How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
