my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
