therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
