so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
