honey bunches of taint.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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