oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
