38 yer olds are good kisserssss
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
