Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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