I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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