Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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