im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
